Ancient Chinese Medicine?

I survived my first experience with Chinese medical facilities and, hopefully, that will be my last. In order to get a work visa, foreigners must have a “medical examination.” This “examination” asks for blood test, chest X-ray, EKG test, sight test (good thing I wear glasses now) and an array of other things that leave you thinking, “Huh?” I’ll be honest and admit that I had this physical done back in the US thinking my doctor at home could sign off on the form. But no, an official with the Chinese government would have to check me out. Going through all these procedures it the first time was a little strange, and the medical staff (all Americans) checking it all off thought so too. Oh China.

So when the nice girl in HR, Uma, told me I would have to have it done again here in China, I was less than thrilled. But then realized what a great topic for my blog! So Uma and I left Tuesday morning from the office in the company’s car (it’s a Ford by the way) and set off for the “laowai clinic.”. Luckily it’s still early in the expat arrival season, so the lines weren’t that long. I don’t think I could have handled being there for much longer than I already was. Spending any lengthy period of time there probably would have been enough for me to just say, “Screw it, I’m going back to the land of decent healthcare” (please refrain from any political comments referencing healthcare).

In all seriousness, it wasn’t that bad. I’ll say it was “adequate.” I wasn’t fearing for my life or worried I would catch some obscure disease. And knowing what I was in for helped qualm any major fears I had when I realized I would be checking out Chinese healthcare far sooner than I wanted to. It started with a blood sample, which was probably the scariest part. From the first look, I was worried. When I imagined this place on the car ride there (that seemed to take forever as I cringed at what would lie ahead), I pictured a dingy place with cracks in the wall where you’d come fine and healthy and leave with some incurable ailment. After a quickly checking it all out, I realized it was going to be more sterile than I thought. The lady taking my blood knew what she was doing, and it was even less painful than the first go around. The rest was all downhill.

Reading the form, I saw that the government wants to know some pretty strange things about my health. Items like skin, stomach and spine were all listed with blanks... Do they want to make sure I have these things? Is there a certain size or color they’re looking for? I have no idea. And while the whole experience was not the most comfortable thing in the world, it wasn’t scarring. The machine for the EKG was archaic, the eye test was kind of a joke and I have no idea why they would need a chest xray or an ultrasound... But then again this is China and a lot of things don’t make sense here.

So now that the government knows that I do indeed have a stomach, spine and all 20 fingers and toes. So hopefully they’ll let me stay a while. That is until they realize who exactly is writing this blog and then they’ll probably kick me out.