Lamien Love: Dating plunders

I realized that I haven’t posted a Lamein Love in a while and now that I’m a single gal again I should probably reinstate the series. People who date in China always seem to have funny stories, and while I’m not too sure I’m ready to go and get myself attached again, I hope to at least get some entertaining stories from it.

China’s most recent census (completed in November) revealed that there are in upwards of 23 million people living in Shanghai. That’s a lot of people. And while the foreign population probably accounts for a small, small percentage of that (less than 1 percent), you would still think that in a city of 23 million people there would be plenty of people to court/date/meet/etc. Well I thought that at least until a most unfortunate blunder.

On a lark, I made a profile on a dating site that is part of Shanghai’s best online entertainment guide. I mostly did it to see what desperate guys had written and how foreign-seeking Chinese women were trying to win over a potential green card holder. But then I came across this rather witty profile. From their book, music and reading tastes I thought “Hmmm… this person is interesting. I will send them a message.”

I did, and we exchanged some funny messages back and forth about our experiences in China and aboard, what we do here, future plans in China and the other “get to know you stuff”. By about the third or fourth message, I realized that this person sounded eerily similar to my former boss from when I was in intern in Shanghai back in the day. After a little “investigating,” I was 99.9 percent sure it was him so I signed the next message with “-MK”.

Sure enough about 12 hours later I got the awkward response of “Is this (insert my name)?” and luckily he was “quite amused” while I was, in a word, mortified. The worst part is he is a reference on my resume! What’s going to happen when someone calls him up and asks about me as a potential job candidate? “Yes, she’s a hard worker and may even approach you on a dating site”? Oh no.

Needless to say, I deleted the profile, apologized profusely and am resigning myself to meet guys the old fashioned way, in person, where I know they’re not someone I shouldn’t be approaching.

The world's market place

A girl unpacking goods at Yiwu... I love all the pink in this picture!

Have you ever wondered where those trinkets from the dollar store come from? Have you ever wanted to see every possible good you could ever want to buy all in one place? Have you ever wondered what 15 million square feet of shopping looked likes like (that’s 6 times the size of the Mall of America)? I think I sufficiently say that I’ve seen it all.

Late Friday afternoon I was assigned to go to Yiwu, home to the world’s largest small commodities market. If you’re asking yourself “what is a small commodity?” it’s basically anything and everything you could ever imagine buying. They’ve got fake flowers, arts and crafts, hair accessories, make up, jewelry, toys, stationary, pins, pens, clocks, watches, flashlights, MP3 players, kites, kitchen appliances, cooking supplies, hardware supplies, furniture, art, bikes and a whole lot of other things that I’m leaving out but am too lazy to type.

I’ve heard and read about this place and have actually been secretly hoping to get to go. While the circumstances weren’t ideal – I was assigned TWO 1,000 word articles on Friday to be due on Wednesday –  I was excited to go and see this place for myself. It was only about a 2-hour train ride away from Shanghai in neighboring Zhejiang province and definitely felt like I was in hundreds of miles away from Shanghai in Podunk China.

I was awestruck walking around the labyrinth of corridors and hallways of different vendors. I have never in my life seen so many products in one place. And I only went to the International Trade City – the place that’s 6 times the size of the Mall of America. There are countless other markets that specialize in other products. After the awe wore off I began feeling a bit uneasy; the kind of uneasiness I get when I go to a suspect restaurant and wonder about the quality of the food. It not only seemed to me incredibly wasteful, but also troubling about what was in some of these products - especially the makeup and the jewelry.

My suspicions were confirmed after chatting with a senior executive of a global supply chain company. “Our clients (multinationals) would never come to Yiwu to buy their products,” he said, later suggesting one could get an unpleasant disease from wearing the jewelry sold at the trade market. It was kind of a miracle that I had met this guy, because I think his insight really made the story.

But one thing he said really stuck with me. As he was going on about how these products don’t pass social (like worker’s rights) standards (or safety or sustainability standards for that matter) the workers don’t care. In fact, he said, they want to work overtime. So while I (or some of you more China-adverse readers) could get on my high horse, all these useless trinkets do provide jobs, food, a living for other people.

I kind of left feeling disheartened. I just felt like the market, the city even, epitomized so many things I find wrong with China - wastefulness, greed, unsustainability, workers abuse. I had heard such rave reviews about Yiwu and the market. And while it was something unlike anything I had ever seen, I have the same sentiments about Yiwu as I do about some “reconstructed temple” or “scenic spot.”

Fireworks, oh fireworks

Fireworks are everywhere at CNY!

By now the country - for the most part - is back to work on a regular schedule and, more importantly, the fireworks around the city have subsided. It’s about time after 14 days of around the clock blasts. It wasn’t necessarily 24/7 - but it was off and on 24 hours a day. It’s not the best way to be woken up in the middle of the night (or 5 in the morning).

Although it was neat to look out the window from my apartment on the 12th floor to see fireworks exploding right outside the window and to see the skyline exploding with the kind of show you only see from professionals - you know, like you’d see at a theme park or on the 4th of July. But as I was watching them out my window, thankful I hadn’t accidently left a window or something open as ash and debris would have without a doubt come in, I really wondered how safe all the hyper-pyromaniacs were.

I was enjoying setting off the fireworks with Ellen and her dad on Chinese New Year eve In Changzhou until it started getting a little irresponsible. Even though we were in a safe place, I was really nervous when they started setting off the fireworks not even a foot away from the box of 10 other fireworks - including what looked like M80s.

And then the family started setting off fireworks 5 feet away from a busy intersection. We’re not talking about the lame Roman Candles we were holding, I’m talking about the big boys; the box of fireworks that’s like three feet long and two feet high.

But the worst offender was the genius that lit fireworks in the middle of the street when cars were passing by and even driving over them! Luckily we did not see an accident, but that was a close call... Maybe too close!

Happy New Year in Changzhou

Happy New Rabbit Year! All you kiddies born in 1987 better get ready… this is NOT your year!

So I just up a 7-day holiday from work, which has gone by oh-too-quickly. I decided that between all my trips in 2010 and some more upcoming trips and weddings I would save some cash and stick around China. Besides, I’ve heard all kinds of crazy things about Chinese New Year in China. I debated sticking around Shanghai, but knowing I would probably just be lying around on the couch for 7 straight days I decided to put in a phone call to an old friend.

After Ellen was so disappointed that I was going to Thailand last year for CNY, I thought I would see if she and her family would be around Nanjing for the holiday. She was really excited when I told her that I was going to be in China and invited me to spend the holidays with her and her family in Changzhou, where I went to the dinosaur amusement park. So I told her I would come over for a few days, because, selfishly, I wanted to experience a real, traditional Spring Festival.

So I got in last Wednesday afternoon, greeted by an excited Ellen and happy Chinese family. I wasn’t expecting much, as its Changzhou and there is not much to do there, but I had an interesting (?) time full of eating some new oddities – like pig’s ear and beef tendons, lighting off fireworks and watching CCTV. I also got to accompany the family as they paid their respects to ancestors and burn incense and candles said to bring good health and wealth. I’ll let you know later about the wealth part!

Truthfully, though, it was kind of overrated. It wasn’t just the language barrier, although when the family wasn’t speaking in the local dialect, I could understand a lot of what was being said – I just couldn’t say it back. As mentioned in my earlier forced fun post, I just felt like it was somewhat uninspired and lacked the excitement and mystery (you know, like Christmas usually has.

 A friend posted this card to my facebook and I thought it pretty accurate of my experience. While I enjoyed my time with Ellen and think my Chinese may have improved the most it ever has in a two-day span, I wasn’t convinced I need to stick around China for every New Years.