There’s been a big hubbub on the Internet over this article from the WSJ. I don’t know if it was a publicity stunt for her new book, but it’s shocking in a borderline physically/verbally abusive kind of way. The stories she cites in the column make you wonder how her children came out not troubled or depressed or serious rebel against “mean mom”.
Oh wait, it appears one did. This thread on Quora eludes to the bigger picture of what her book is about – and its not that her parenting methods are indeed superior.
My two issues with this column are 1) the xenophobia of it all (read the comments if you want validation) and 2) that this type of parenting style should not be put on a pedestal. One Shanghaiist blogger writes about her own experiences and its not pretty.
Mrs. Chua’s styles are not limited to ABCs, or American born Chinese. Children in China are more often subjected to such parenting styles. I’ve never heard a Chinese person say that he or she enjoyed his or her childhood. There is little talk of any other memories besides studying or playing musical instruments for hours on end.
While working in Nanjing, something I considered a bonus was getting to know some of the students in the programs. On more than one occasion I remember some of these students saying, I have little time for free time. Or cited merely “playing piano” as their “hobbies.” It was also eye-opening reading their essays of their weeklong exchange in a US high school. Many students remarked that they were envious of the students’ shorter school days, the plethora of extracurricular activities, the opportunities for students to have part time jobs and the more relaxed nature of these students’ parents.
One clear example I can give is Ellen, who at 17 seems completely burned out of school. She’s dropped out of traditional Chinese high school in order to focus on her English so she can go to school abroad. When she told me about this over text message, she spelled Engnish wrong.
There are a lot of things about Chinese/Asian culture that I admire, like the strong sense of family (when not borderline abusing a child) and the filial piety they exhibit for their elders. But this is one aspect of the culture that doesn’t deserve praise.
Jan 10, 2011
Jan 9, 2011
Black Out
It’s been a chilly winter here in Shanghai ever since I got back about 10 days ago. My apartment was a refrigerator when I got back last Tuesday. I’m not sure why, but Eva thought it would be a good idea to open the bathroom window, which was a little bit of an angering surprise after what was already a long, arduous flight back home. Maybe she thought I would like some fresh air? At below freezing lows at night I don’t think so.
After leaving my close-to-worthless air conditioners on for two days straight and not feeling any warmer I decided it was time to bite the bullet and get me some space heaters. Luckily I remembered the $100 gift cards to some department store the newspaper gave us (in lieu of a bonus, I assume). So on New Years Day I pried myself off the sofa and out from under the four blankets I was wrapped in and set off to buy my heaters. I arrived home two heaters richer and my apt was finally warming up. I wasn’t really too concerned with how much electricity I might be using and just let everything go.
Everything was fine for the first two days. But then on Monday night I made a fateful mistake. I wasn’t really thinking as I had the two heaters, all air conditioning units and most of the lights on in my apartment when I decided it would be a good idea to dry a pair of socks with the ultra high-powered hair dryer I had recently acquired.
After about 10 seconds my entire apartment (all 50 square meters of it) went black. Uh oh!
I knew exactly what I had done. And luckily I knew what to do. I keep up with a good friend’s blog and she had a similar experience, although I don’t think it was in sub-zero weather. Dressed in my finest PJs I went down to talk to the (almost worthless) guard/I-sit-here-because-they-pay-me person. In my limited Chinese I explain that I have no electricity and she says I need to call an electrician. Electrician? I just need to know where the fuse box is (or so I thought). Who knew how long it would take for an electrician to show up … and I was sure it wasn’t going to be that night.
After a frantic phone call to Eva, some bickering with the guard/I-sit-here-because-they-pay-me person and after a few more phone calls, we wake the electrician, who emerges from some underground cave-like place under the apartment complex. Unfortunately it was not as easy as flipping a fuse box switch… or maybe it was and he just made it look like it was harder than it appeared to earn his 20 RMB reward. Either way, 20 minutes after I had foolishly turned on every possible appliance in my apartment, I was up and running again.
And now I’ve learned my lesson about the hairdryer... but those heaters will stay on!
After leaving my close-to-worthless air conditioners on for two days straight and not feeling any warmer I decided it was time to bite the bullet and get me some space heaters. Luckily I remembered the $100 gift cards to some department store the newspaper gave us (in lieu of a bonus, I assume). So on New Years Day I pried myself off the sofa and out from under the four blankets I was wrapped in and set off to buy my heaters. I arrived home two heaters richer and my apt was finally warming up. I wasn’t really too concerned with how much electricity I might be using and just let everything go.
Everything was fine for the first two days. But then on Monday night I made a fateful mistake. I wasn’t really thinking as I had the two heaters, all air conditioning units and most of the lights on in my apartment when I decided it would be a good idea to dry a pair of socks with the ultra high-powered hair dryer I had recently acquired.
After about 10 seconds my entire apartment (all 50 square meters of it) went black. Uh oh!
I knew exactly what I had done. And luckily I knew what to do. I keep up with a good friend’s blog and she had a similar experience, although I don’t think it was in sub-zero weather. Dressed in my finest PJs I went down to talk to the (almost worthless) guard/I-sit-here-because-they-pay-me person. In my limited Chinese I explain that I have no electricity and she says I need to call an electrician. Electrician? I just need to know where the fuse box is (or so I thought). Who knew how long it would take for an electrician to show up … and I was sure it wasn’t going to be that night.
After a frantic phone call to Eva, some bickering with the guard/I-sit-here-because-they-pay-me person and after a few more phone calls, we wake the electrician, who emerges from some underground cave-like place under the apartment complex. Unfortunately it was not as easy as flipping a fuse box switch… or maybe it was and he just made it look like it was harder than it appeared to earn his 20 RMB reward. Either way, 20 minutes after I had foolishly turned on every possible appliance in my apartment, I was up and running again.
And now I’ve learned my lesson about the hairdryer... but those heaters will stay on!
Jan 3, 2011
Hello 2011!
Happy 2011 NYAFC readers. I hope you all have had a wonderful, restful holiday season and a great start to 2011. My holiday – ok, more like the last three months – have been wonderful but not so restful. After a weeklong holiday in Hungary over Thanksgiving and a two-week trip home during Christmas (my first trip home in more than 16 months), I’m really excited to be back in Shanghai.
I was sad to say goodbye to 2010; it was a good year. But I think 2011 is going to be a even better – I’m rejuvenated and excited for a new of working, improving my Chinese and blogging.
I do have one worry, a very Chinesey worry, actually. So my birthday falls almost directly in between the new year on the Chinese lunar calendar (even though the actual date of the new year changes from year to year). Some say I am a tiger (the year we’re about to finish up) and some say I’m a rabbit. Contrary to what you might think, the year of whatever animal you are is not supposed to be good. It’s actually supposed to be pretty rough The year of the tiger, as mentioned, was good for yours truly and I’m anxious for what the year of the rabbit has in store. If it’s bad then I’ll know what animal I really am; if its good then I’ll know I’m just a lucky tigget.
Then again, there are still four weeks left in the year of the tiger, so I guess I’m worrying a little too early.
I was sad to say goodbye to 2010; it was a good year. But I think 2011 is going to be a even better – I’m rejuvenated and excited for a new of working, improving my Chinese and blogging.
I do have one worry, a very Chinesey worry, actually. So my birthday falls almost directly in between the new year on the Chinese lunar calendar (even though the actual date of the new year changes from year to year). Some say I am a tiger (the year we’re about to finish up) and some say I’m a rabbit. Contrary to what you might think, the year of whatever animal you are is not supposed to be good. It’s actually supposed to be pretty rough The year of the tiger, as mentioned, was good for yours truly and I’m anxious for what the year of the rabbit has in store. If it’s bad then I’ll know what animal I really am; if its good then I’ll know I’m just a lucky tigget.
Then again, there are still four weeks left in the year of the tiger, so I guess I’m worrying a little too early.
Dec 6, 2010
Chinglish sign of the month
Dec 5, 2010
Oh, hello blog
You may have wondered if I forgot about NYAFC. Well, I haven’t. Between a crazy work schedule in November, a Thanksgiving getaway to Hungary, I let my blogging fall by the wayside (And I missed it!) No longer, though. I got some advice from an esteemed journalist in Shanghai, who blogs here, and he strongly recommended I blog. So there you go. Straight from a fellow journos keypad - I need to blog more.
There’s much to blog about too. And I missed a lot of things to blog about - Shanghai fire, NKorea, all this wikileaks stuff and the lengths the Chinese are going to prevent people from going to the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony. But I just returned from a weekend retreat with my colleagues and have plenty of stories to share. That starts on Monday.
I do want to share one anecdote from my trip to Hungary to visit my boyfriend, who I met in China and who lived in here for five years. While in Budapest we stumbled upon a Christmas bizarre in the center of the city that attracted locals and visitors alike. We were really excited about trying and food and as we sat down to eat our kebab and pretzel a group of Chinese tourists sat down at our table. They were chatting away in Chinese and luckily they spoke in accents we could understand. It was funny listening to them as we were sure they figured we didn’t know what they were saying.
They didn’t reveal anything too interesting - just talked about the food. But as they were leaving we both said “Zai Jian” (goodbye) and “man zou” (walk slowly - a common add on to goodbye). They giggled and were a bit embarrassed that the whities sitting with them knew pretty much everything they were talking about. How ironic that when I try to leave China they seem to find me anyway.
There’s much to blog about too. And I missed a lot of things to blog about - Shanghai fire, NKorea, all this wikileaks stuff and the lengths the Chinese are going to prevent people from going to the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony. But I just returned from a weekend retreat with my colleagues and have plenty of stories to share. That starts on Monday.
I do want to share one anecdote from my trip to Hungary to visit my boyfriend, who I met in China and who lived in here for five years. While in Budapest we stumbled upon a Christmas bizarre in the center of the city that attracted locals and visitors alike. We were really excited about trying and food and as we sat down to eat our kebab and pretzel a group of Chinese tourists sat down at our table. They were chatting away in Chinese and luckily they spoke in accents we could understand. It was funny listening to them as we were sure they figured we didn’t know what they were saying.
They didn’t reveal anything too interesting - just talked about the food. But as they were leaving we both said “Zai Jian” (goodbye) and “man zou” (walk slowly - a common add on to goodbye). They giggled and were a bit embarrassed that the whities sitting with them knew pretty much everything they were talking about. How ironic that when I try to leave China they seem to find me anyway.
Nov 8, 2010
Happy Journalism Day
I had to find out via Shanghaiist that today is apparently “Journalist Day” in China – whatever that means. Not a word was mentioned about “Journalist Day” in my “newsroom,” but that could be that they were to busy gossiping and eating to really care. Plus they kind of know better than to give credence to this obviously superfluous holiday.
“Journalism Day” does seem like a bit of a cop out. Investigative journalism is risky and dangerous. While a reporter in the US could risk their repoire with a company or the government or a publication could risk advertising revenue, investigative reporters here risk their safety and lives to uncover the wrongdoings of corporations or local governments (but never the central government; never, never, never) .
While I haven’t necessarily tried to bring down a company, I still have had difficulties getting information that I needed for a story. People just didn’t want to share how much they had spent (wasted) on all those pretty Haibaos (the Expo mascot) littered throughout the city. And when a Chinese colleague tried to help me she even said they were wondering why we wanted to know this information. In her words “I don’t think this is a sensitive subject, but they seem to think it is.” Ah well, I didn’t want to devote a whole article to that joke of a mascot anyway.
I don’t know what the point is for “Journalism Day” but I don’t think it is to encourage investigative (or any kind of) reporter to search and try to dig out compelling stories, ask the hard questions and try to change or shape the dialogue for important issues. Nope, instead they just want us reporters to take that Hongbao and be grateful.
Here is another story worth a read.
“Journalism Day” does seem like a bit of a cop out. Investigative journalism is risky and dangerous. While a reporter in the US could risk their repoire with a company or the government or a publication could risk advertising revenue, investigative reporters here risk their safety and lives to uncover the wrongdoings of corporations or local governments (but never the central government; never, never, never) .
While I haven’t necessarily tried to bring down a company, I still have had difficulties getting information that I needed for a story. People just didn’t want to share how much they had spent (wasted) on all those pretty Haibaos (the Expo mascot) littered throughout the city. And when a Chinese colleague tried to help me she even said they were wondering why we wanted to know this information. In her words “I don’t think this is a sensitive subject, but they seem to think it is.” Ah well, I didn’t want to devote a whole article to that joke of a mascot anyway.
I don’t know what the point is for “Journalism Day” but I don’t think it is to encourage investigative (or any kind of) reporter to search and try to dig out compelling stories, ask the hard questions and try to change or shape the dialogue for important issues. Nope, instead they just want us reporters to take that Hongbao and be grateful.
Here is another story worth a read.
Nov 5, 2010
See you later Expo
When I opened my window on Monday morning the most telling sign that Shanghai’s six month party, otherwise known as “the Expo” was over was not the fewer commuters on the metro; it was not the shorter wait times when I went to lunch; it was not the slight ease of getting a taxi; it was the brown, stagnant haze that lingered over the city… for about three days.
Well, at least it’s over. Shanghai’s party/fair/waste of billions of dollars finally ended on Sunday. (I know, I’m a little late for a post-Expo blog post, but I will blame it on my Internet – or lack there of –in my apartment.)
Anyway, it’s kind of a relief that this thing is over. While its “success” is arguable, it was undoubtedly a nuisance to Shanghai residents and travelers. Subways were packed almost all day long. And when my dad’s hotel reservations were messed up during his trip to Shanghai his options were to pay close to $1,000 for a hotel room, stay in a “flea bag” Chinese hotel or stay with me. Now I know I need to get a more comfortable sofa.
And nowI don’t have to edit any more superfluous articles that are Chinese journalistic feats – oh wait yes I do.
I really liked this NY Times article about the Expo ending and thought it was pretty spot on. But then there was this post from another American correspondent in Shanghai who I thought was also correct in his analysis of how US media missed the mark on covering the Expo. What is important to the Chinese is not always in line with what Americans (or foreigners in general) think should be important when it comes to China. But of course the angles that he proposes would have been perhaps a little too tricky for my paper.
I realize most of you readers are in the US and your only knowledge of the Expo was from this blog (or maybe a clip on TV? I don’t know). But it was a big deal for China and the Chinese. And while I wouldn’t necessarily like for it to come back tomorrow, I would like the fresher air and bluer skies to return.
Well, at least it’s over. Shanghai’s party/fair/waste of billions of dollars finally ended on Sunday. (I know, I’m a little late for a post-Expo blog post, but I will blame it on my Internet – or lack there of –in my apartment.)
Anyway, it’s kind of a relief that this thing is over. While its “success” is arguable, it was undoubtedly a nuisance to Shanghai residents and travelers. Subways were packed almost all day long. And when my dad’s hotel reservations were messed up during his trip to Shanghai his options were to pay close to $1,000 for a hotel room, stay in a “flea bag” Chinese hotel or stay with me. Now I know I need to get a more comfortable sofa.
And now
I really liked this NY Times article about the Expo ending and thought it was pretty spot on. But then there was this post from another American correspondent in Shanghai who I thought was also correct in his analysis of how US media missed the mark on covering the Expo. What is important to the Chinese is not always in line with what Americans (or foreigners in general) think should be important when it comes to China. But of course the angles that he proposes would have been perhaps a little too tricky for my paper.
I realize most of you readers are in the US and your only knowledge of the Expo was from this blog (or maybe a clip on TV? I don’t know). But it was a big deal for China and the Chinese. And while I wouldn’t necessarily like for it to come back tomorrow, I would like the fresher air and bluer skies to return.
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