The Chinese Mom

There’s been a big hubbub on the Internet over this article from the WSJ. I don’t know if it was a publicity stunt for her new book, but it’s shocking in a borderline physically/verbally abusive kind of way. The stories she cites in the column make you wonder how her children came out not troubled or depressed or serious rebel against “mean mom”.
 
Oh wait, it appears one did. This thread on Quora eludes to the bigger picture of what her book is about – and its not that her parenting methods are indeed superior.
 
My two issues with this column are 1) the xenophobia of it all (read the comments if you want validation) and 2) that this type of parenting style should not be put on a pedestal. One Shanghaiist blogger writes about her own experiences and its not pretty.
 
Mrs. Chua’s styles are not limited to ABCs, or American born Chinese. Children in China are more often subjected to such parenting styles. I’ve never heard a Chinese person say that he or she enjoyed his or her childhood. There is little talk of any other memories besides studying or playing musical instruments for hours on end.
 
While working in Nanjing, something I considered a bonus was getting to know some of the students in the programs. On more than one occasion I remember some of these students saying, I have little time for free time. Or cited merely “playing piano” as their “hobbies.” It was also eye-opening reading their essays of their weeklong exchange in a US high school. Many students remarked that they were envious of the students’ shorter school days, the plethora of extracurricular activities, the opportunities for students to have part time jobs and the more relaxed nature of these students’ parents.
 
One clear example I can give is Ellen, who at 17 seems completely burned out of school. She’s dropped out of traditional Chinese high school in order to focus on her English so she can go to school abroad. When she told me about this over text message, she spelled Engnish wrong.
 
There are a lot of things about Chinese/Asian culture that I admire, like the strong sense of family (when not borderline abusing a child) and the filial piety they exhibit for their elders. But this is one aspect of the culture that doesn’t deserve praise.