I love weddings, especially Chinese weddings. They're kind of kooky with lots funny traditions, but it’s neat and fun to watch. This past weekend I got to go to (and actually be a part of) a friend’s wedding!
Before I share about my funny weekend at the wedding, I should first clarify that in China, getting married and having a wedding are two pretty different things. Typically, when a couple decides to get married, they go to what is essential the courthouse and sign a few papers. Tada, they’re married. The wedding doesn’t usually come until a few months later. And it’s not a religious ceremony by any means. It’s just a banquet style dinner, with an MC, some decorations, family and friends (who don’t wear anything particularly special) and lots and lots of Chinese food.
The events before the wedding are really the best part. My friend Sam had asked me to come along for the whole shindig to I guess play a more sisterly role and make sure the hoard of boys were doing what they were supposed to be. So I got there at 7 in the morning (it was an afternoon wedding), ready to help on Sam and his soon-to-be wife Jenny’s special day. Sam, his groomsmen and I got to Jenny’s house at about 8:30 am and the fireworks were already going off, literally. It’s a tradition to light a bunch of fireworks off for weddings - any occasion is a good occasion for fireworks in China.
So Sam goes up to Jenny’s house and starts giving “hongbaos,” or red envelopes filled with money, to neighbors so that they’ll let him pass to get to her house. Then once he gets there, he has to continue to bribe family members and Jenny’s friends to let him inside to get to Jenny, who is waiting inside. After about 10 minutes of bribing and pleading, they let him in where Jenny is waiting for him.
There’s a few ceremonious type things, where Sam gives her parents tea to signify they’re a part of his family, where Sam and Jenny have to spit seeds into the other’s hand and when everyone at Jenny’s house has to drink this fruit-like soup. When the couple was ready to go, Jenny hoped on her male cousin’s back, shoeless, and was carried down to the car (that was adorned with all kinds of crazy flowers). The bride has to wear a new pair of shoes after she leaves her house, which I think is representative of her not bringing dirt into the new marriage.
Anyway when we got to the venue and were waiting for other guests to arrive, Jenny realized that she needed one more bridesmaid. I guess the selection of other people was pretty limited, so she asked me, “Hey MK, will you be my third bridesmaid?” I was shocked...and slightly embarrassed because I felt pretty under dressed. I thought I was just going to be a casual observer, so I just wore a sundress with some flat shoes. Meanwhile the groomsmen were all in suits. But I felt so honored that she’d ask me to be a part of their ceremony, so of course I enthusiastically said yes.
It was a really nice wedding that was a good mix of Chinese and Western traditions. While they did all the traditional Chinese things with Jenny’s family, but they also said traditional vows in English at the ceremony and had a first dance. It was really, really sweet, and I couldn’t help but get a bit teary-eyed. Most of all, it got me really excited for a few friends’ weddings going on next summer.
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