How to win a Chinese girl

The other day I went to lunch with two guys from the paper. One is the only other foreign reporter in the office and the other is a Chinese guy who is a long-time editor with the paper. During lunch the foreign guy was talking about how Chinese girls aren’t into him. It was kind of surprising because this guy is tall, buff and not unfortunate looking. I would think Chinese girls would probably throw themselves at him. He said this is not the case.

His reason was that he wasn’t rich – ok fair enough. Shanghainese women are notoriously known for being gold diggers of sorts, but there are plenty of non-Shanghainese women in the city looking for a nice foreign guy. Well the Chinese editor pipes in with some advice for our foreign friend about how to woo the ladies next time he’s at the club. Of course, all the advice was for material possessions.

First is a nice watch. He said that a nice watch – even if its just a fake Rolex – will help make that first impression a memorable one.

Next was the shirt. He told the foreign guy he needed to get some nice shirts made. Oh, and a pair of nice-looking cuff links would also be worth the (maybe as cheap as 50 kuai) investment.

Third on the list were nice shoes. He said that women always look at guys’ shoes, adding that they also need to be well polished.

Last on the list was a nice car, which is obviously a little out of price range for someone earning a comparable salary to an entry-level reporter in the US and who is living in a country where taxes on imported luxury cars can make them at least twice as much as they cost at home.

The foreign guy just started laughing at the funny (and superficial) advice our Chinese coworker was offering. He jokingly asked “Can I just get a car key so she thinks I have a car and then I’ll just tell her it was stolen later in the night?” Ha. Problem solved.

All this talk from my Chinese coworker of fake watches and fake appearance of money made me glad I’m not a foreign guy trying to impress a Chinese girl.

Fall is on the way! Yay!

It’s started! The weather is cooling down and there’s a slight crisp in the air. Fall is one of my favorite seasons in China... It’s really one of about two good times of the year for weather in China. Summer is blisteringly hot and the winter is damp and cold. There’s about four weeks in fall and in spring (although we missed out on spring this year) when the skies are blue and the temperature is just cool enough to really enjoy the outdoors.

While I love this weather, some people think its too cool. I got a message from a Chinese friend just the other day saying “The weather is starting to change and get cold so take care!” Take care? This is the best weather we’ve had in a while! I told her that this was my favorite time of year to which she responded, “Really? When I was riding my bike I was cold!” Chilly? Maybe, but cold? Come on!

She’s not the only one. One my Thursday/Friday weekend, I took advantage of the cooler weather and rode my bike around some of my favorite parts of Shanghai. As I rode I saw some outdoor vendors were already selling scarfs! Keep in mind it’s like in the mid 60’s. Where I come from 60 degree weather doesn’t warrant a scarf! I was especially shocked to see some of these vendors wearing semi-heavy coats (not quite “winter coats” but they seemed a little too warm for the weather). To put it in perspective I was in shorts, T-shirt and a little light weight jacket.

I thought it was a Chinese thing, but then this afternoon I went to a little coffee shop to spend a little time studying Chinese and there was a group of foreigners some of whom were wearing fleece jackets and scarfs! In 60-degree weather! Again, I was in shorts and had brought along a long-sleeve shirt because it was a little windy! Maybe it’s just me wanting to get one last use of my warm weather clothes, but I thought fleece jackets and scarfs were a little unnecessary.

One a side note, it’s amazing what a little two-day break from any work (no editing, no freelancing and no teaching) and some fantastic weather will do! I’ve been having a some frequent “China Days” but this weather and this break where I actually had time to do things I wanted to do, like bike ride, get a pedicure, go running and spend some time studying Chinese, have put in me in such a better mood! Yay for fall and for not overworking!

The holiday that wasn't

It’s that time of year when the weather starts to get a bit cooler and the government changes up the work week for a few holidays. They do this a few times throughout the year and, in a word, it’s so annoying. These next few weeks seem to be even worse.

There’s the Mid-autumn Festival which was on Wednesday (yesterday) and changes every year because the holiday changes according to the lunar calendar. Then there’s the National Day (think Independence Day in China) which is always on Oct 1st. It’s pretty problematic to follow a calendar that changes every year for holidays and combine it with the Western calendar (you know, the one the whole world follows), but I try not to ask why much these days in China.

So the government gives people three days off for Mid-autumn and 7 days for National Day, but then people have to work on the weekends to make up for it - so basically its like having one day off for Mid-autumn and about 5 days for National Day. Last year, luckily the two holidays fell on the same week, but this year, the whole system is really screwed up. Here’s a look at the year’s worth of Chinese holidays and readjustments. Even the Chinese people think its an unnecessary inconvenience.

Luckily (or even more confusing) for me since I work for a newspaper we are able to follow our own schedule. However, this also got screwed up because of lack of planning. I was supposed to have off from Tuesday to Saturday, but of course that was changed (because some people decided to not turn in stories on time). And my weekend turned out to be Thursday and Friday and then I have to work on Saturday through Wednesday. So stupid.

I just try to go with things and not ask why, because asking “why” in China will just make you even more angrier than having to work on a weekend. At least for me, what was supposed to be 5-days off will be three extra days of annual leave I can take at my leisure.

Goin to the chapel

I love weddings, especially Chinese weddings. They're kind of kooky with lots funny traditions, but it’s neat and fun to watch. This past weekend I got to go to (and actually be a part of) a friend’s wedding!

Before I share about my funny weekend at the wedding, I should first clarify that in China, getting married and having a wedding are two pretty different things. Typically, when a couple decides to get married, they go to what is essential the courthouse and sign a few papers. Tada, they’re married. The wedding doesn’t usually come until a few months later. And it’s not a religious ceremony by any means. It’s just a banquet style dinner, with an MC, some decorations, family and friends (who don’t wear anything particularly special) and lots and lots of Chinese food.

The events before the wedding are really the best part. My friend Sam had asked me to come along for the whole shindig to I guess play a more sisterly role and make sure the hoard of boys were doing what they were supposed to be. So I got there at 7 in the morning (it was an afternoon wedding), ready to help on Sam and his soon-to-be wife Jenny’s special day. Sam, his groomsmen and I got to Jenny’s house at about 8:30 am and the fireworks were already going off, literally. It’s a tradition to light a bunch of fireworks off for weddings - any occasion is a good occasion for fireworks in China.

So Sam goes up to Jenny’s house and starts giving “hongbaos,” or red envelopes filled with money, to neighbors so that they’ll let him pass to get to her house. Then once he gets there, he has to continue to bribe family members and Jenny’s friends to let him inside to get to Jenny, who is waiting inside. After about 10 minutes of bribing and pleading, they let him in where Jenny is waiting for him.

There’s a few ceremonious type things, where Sam gives her parents tea to signify they’re a part of his family, where Sam and Jenny have to spit seeds into the other’s hand and when everyone at Jenny’s house has to drink this fruit-like soup. When the couple was ready to go, Jenny hoped on her male cousin’s back, shoeless, and was carried down to the car (that was adorned with all kinds of crazy flowers). The bride has to wear a new pair of shoes after she leaves her house, which I think is representative of her not bringing dirt into the new marriage.

Anyway when we got to the venue and were waiting for other guests to arrive, Jenny realized that she needed one more bridesmaid. I guess the selection of other people was pretty limited, so she asked me, “Hey MK, will you be my third bridesmaid?” I was shocked...and slightly embarrassed because I felt pretty under dressed. I thought I was just going to be a casual observer, so I just wore a sundress with some flat shoes. Meanwhile the groomsmen were all in suits. But I felt so honored that she’d ask me to be a part of their ceremony, so of course I enthusiastically said yes.

It was a really nice wedding that was a good mix of Chinese and Western traditions. While they did all the traditional Chinese things with Jenny’s family, but they also said traditional vows in English at the ceremony and had a first dance. It was really, really sweet, and I couldn’t help but get a bit teary-eyed. Most of all, it got me really excited for a few friends’ weddings going on next summer.

Lady Gaga's little Chinese monsters

I didn’t watch the VMAs but saw plenty of pictures from the show to know that Lady Gaga has once again put herself in the spotlight. And the dress? Gross. But I’m not here to talk about Lady Gaga’s choice of costume.
 
Much like in the US, Lady Gaga’s popularity in China has and continues to explode. And to think when I used to hear that Just Dance song I was sure she was just another one-hit-wonder. Anytime I go out to any sort of bar or club, which is about once a week for those curious about my social life, Lady Gaga is always, always, always a crowd pleaser.
 
I also live down the street from a few weird clubs, and on an almost nightly occasion, usually about 11:30 pm, here comes Gaga. It’s not so loud that it disturbs me, but I can definitely tell it’s her. It’s usually Bad Romance or Paparazzi blasting through the speakers and carrying down the street – you’d think they’d get with the times and play something a little more current but I guess they think if it ain’t broke don’t change it.
 
Just the other day, before Eva finally moved out off of my couch, she was telling me about Chinese people’s impressions of the Fame Monster. She said they thought she was “kind of like a monster” but that she liked her because of her creativity. And then she told me that all the cool kids have a new saying. The old, outdated and overused “Oh my god” has been replaced with “Oh my Lady Gaga”. I started busting out laughing. I thought it was pretty funny. Only in China.
 
So I googled it and found some articles about the expression. Nothing was very concrete, but I did see one commenter giving a bit more of insight:
 
A possible other reason, is "Lady" sounds like "Lei"(character "雷") meaning being surprised or shocked. Originally "雷" carries a very slight negative meaning since it describes sth not very common. But nowadays it is used everywhere and become neutral. The pronunciation "Gaga" is also used in virtually every language. In particular, in Northeastern Chinese dialect (辽宁方言)it is a modal particle, meaning "very very much". Usually it carries a positive meaning and used as an agreement. e.g, if someone likes the food, they could say "gaga xiang (香, delicious)".


Therefore, "Oh my Lady Gaga" usually is a cute way of saying "this is funny (in the good case)/or/ this is odd(in the bad case), I am so surprised".
 
So there you go, straight from a native speaker’s hands typing on his keyboard. I don’t know if the phrase will take off at home, but one thing is for sure: Lady Gaga’s got quite a population of little monsters growing over in China!

No more anonymity

So, I've decided to no longer allow anonymous comments. Sorry if you liked commenting anonymously. But if you want to comment please indicate in some way who you are. And if you like this blog please follow it (so I know people are actually reading it). Thanks! Happy Hump Day (aka Wednesday)!

The best (no wait, worst) of the Expo Pavilion themes

In the last four months of polishing article after article about the glorious Expo, I’ve come across some pretty strange pavilions with even stranger themes. As if “Better city, better life” wasn’t a weak enough theme, I thought I’d present a list of the top 5 “best” pavilion themes in the Expo Garden. And by best I mean worst, most contradictory and most ironic. So without further ado, here we go.
 
5. In at number 5 is the Oil Pavilion and their theme “Petroleum stretches urban dreams.” Hmmm. Considering the fact that the Expo is supposed to be centered on green technologies, I’m surprised they let this one through (no, not actually surprised). I guess they didn’t have time to change the name or the idea of the pavilion, especially not after the April 20 Gulf oil spill or the one in China in July. They might need to rethink just how this petroleum is “stretching.”
 
4. Taking the number 4 spot on the list is none other than sanction-ridden Iran at the Iran Pavilion. Their theme of “Blending of diverse cultures in the city” is pretty... interesting(?). “Blending” – that’s a very interesting word choice. Last time I read the news, Iran wasn't really known for being open to blending cultures. Maybe that’s just the news I'm reading.
 
3. Third on the list of most absurd pavilion names is the Information and Communication Pavilion with their theme of “Information and Communication - Extending City Dreams.” Well, considering the pretty widely known (at least in Shanghai) censoring of many web sites in China, this is probably the most contradictory theme. Free information and communication in China? Try again next time, maybe after you unblock facebook, Twitter, Youtube and that Wikipedia entry about 1989.

2. The runner up for today’s countdown goes to a country I’m actually dying to visit. It’s the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Pavilion with their theme of “The paradise for people.” Yes, when I think of North Korea, the first thing that comes to mind is paradise. I’ll leave it at that.
 
1. And the winner of the worst, most absurd, most contradictory and most ironic pavilion theme (and inspiration for this top 5 list) is the China Railway Pavilion and their theme “Harmonious railways expand spaces for better life.” Because when I think of harmony, I definitely think of train travel in China. Nothing is quite as harmonious as hours spent in a smoke-filled train surrounded by screaming children, absurdly loud ring tones, even louder people yelling into their cell phones, nose-pickers, hawker and spitters, squawking chickens and train staff who could care less about you wanting to buy a bottle of water. Yes, so harmonious.

Progress in learning Chinese

After more than a year in China, I finally feel like my Chinese is improving. It’s taken a few months with my Chinese tutor, and I still need to devote more time to studying. But I finally feel like I’m making progress. I’ve told Eva to only speak Chinese with me for the remainder of her time at my place and I even spent much of my Saturday evening practicing with my old coworker Cheryl and another old colleague. While I feel like I’m on Chinese people overload, it’s been fun and challenging.
 
That’s not to say it hasn’t come with its embarrassing moments. Just when I told my roommate to only use Chinese with me I used a very wrong character in a text message to her. She had sent me some text message about how she needed to use the balcony to hang clothes and that she folded my clothes and put them on the table. It was not big deal to me so I just said (in Chinese) “Ok, no problem.”
 
The only “problem” with my message was my use of “ok.” There’s so many ways to say “ok” – hao de, shi de and xing are the most commonly used. Well I thought I’d use “xing” because I’m trying to use as many sayings as I can. So when I typed it in with pinyin (the phonetic spelling of Chinese characters) I just chose the first one that was there. Sine  I have used that word somewhat frequently on my phone I figured it would remember and give me the right “xing” as the first choice. Nope.
 
She sends me a message back saying something to the effect of “that ‘xing’ is not a good word.” Ut oh. So I race to my Chinese dictionary on my iPhone (that thing has paid off in China if only with the Chinese dictionary I have) and look up the word. Apparently the character I used for xing has something to do with sex. Yikes!
 
Obviously I was mortified, apologized and clarified what “xing” I had meant to use. Luckily, we’re good friends and she’s patient while I learn the language. I’m sure there will be other instances when I say something drastically wrong, but that’s been one thing that’s held me back from practicing speaking with my friends and coworkers. I really need to get over that fear. And while that little mishap definitely proved my fears, I think it helped push me a little in the right direction of getting over my personal fears of sounding like a fool in order to improve my Mandarin.

Finally going to get some R&R

For those of you who are curious about my little houseguest and the potential ones, the situation is almost resolved. Eva found a place to live and is moving in to her new place on the 15th... Less than 10 days away. And apparently Ellen came to Shanghai this weekend with her mom. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to meet up with them, but two sources of stress have since been resolved... Thankfully.

And for a little extra R&R I’m excited to go with my mom to Hangzhou and Moganshan for October holiday. While they’re really close to Shanghai and I’m not going far for the holiday, I’m already looking forward to a few days out of Shanghai. I’ve always wanted to go to Hangzhou and Moganshan. Hangzhou is famous for this really pretty lake, but I have a feeling its going to be overloaded with Chinese tourists. So after two days bumming it with all the 2308234098324 tourists, my mom and I are going here for a few days of solitude, nature, bamboo forests, long strolls and some book reading (and maybe article writing). While it’s not home, it’s certainly a much needed holiday and trip out of Shanghai. We both need it, for sure.

Happy Labor Day!!!

More (unwanted) houseguests.

In the same night dear, sweet Eva, my old Nanjing roomie, finally realized that my sofa is not her new bed, I had yet another issue in unwanted/uninvited house guests. On Friday night, after a long week at work, I got a phone call from my old neighbor in Nanjing, Ellen. She called excited to tell me that she’s coming to Shanghai for the Expo.

So, I asked her when she was arriving. She said Tuesday. I asked her if her parents were coming with her. She said “No, I’m coming by myself.” Ut oh. I could see where this was heading. She wanted to stay with me.

I told her that next week wasn’t a good time to come. I can't take off days from work to go with her to Expo, and Eva is very busy with work. Then there was the issue of where she would sleep. My apartment is not big. The sofa is probably barely enough for Eva, let alone Eva and Ellen to share, which Eva suggested  – again with the uncomfortable, unusual sleeping arrangements. And this might sound a bit snotty but I’m not about to share a bed (a small bed at that) with her. I mean we’re friends, but we’re not that good of friends.

Finally after some back and forth banter I told her we'd have to wait a few weeks to plan this trip to Shanghai for the Expo. I felt awful because I’m sure Ellen was extremely disappointed. But, at the same time, she did spring this on me last minute.

I don’t know how I feel about this situation. It seems to be very “Chinese” to just invite yourself to someone’s home to spend the night. I remember editing articles about unwanted house guests staying with friends and family in Shanghai for weeks on end so they could go to the Expo. Eva also “extended” the time she stayed with me a while ago from “2-3 days” to almost a week back in the beginning of August.

But I’m not Chinese. And I don’t feel like “being Chinese” right now. But at the same time I’m torn about how to handle this. While I do feel a little put out that Ellen has just invited herself to stay with me, I do feel like I’m indebted to them because of the kindness they’ve shown me with taking me to Changzhou, my birthday dinner and a going away dinner.

However entertaining Ellen for a few days or a weekend is a lot! If she came with her mom or dad and stayed at a hotel, I could easily and happily accompany them to the Expo, pay for their tickets, treat them to dinner and show them the same hospitality they’ve shown me. But does this include opening my home, entertaining and essentially babysitting Ellen? I don’t know and it’s quite the conundrum.

Oh China (and Chinese people) – I need a break!