I remember saying a while back that I wanted to start a dating series... Six months later, I thought I would start. I’m going to call it “Lamien Love.” Lamien means “noodle soup” in Chinese, and even though I don’t think there is any reference to noodles and love in any Chinese saying or idiom, I think it fits. I love noodles and noodles, like love, come in a lot of varieties: long or short, spicy or mild, hot or cold.
For a 20-something single Chinese gal, the “dating world” is far from the exciting playground you would see watching something like, say, Sex and the City and Friends or even from people watching at a college bar on a Friday night. The reality is dating is tough - especially for the Chinese. In fact, I would go so far as to say there is very little “dating” that goes on in China. Usually it goes like this: meet someone new and interesting, go to dinner, a week later you’re boyfriend/girlfriend, a few weeks later your meeting the parents and maybe within the year you’ve become engaged, or even married.
Ok, that may be a bit exaggerated, but it’s not that far from the truth. For as many Chinese couples who I have met who were in 2 year+ relationships before they married, I’ve met people who were married within a year... maybe even months. And while everyone loves a love story, some (I’d even say most) Chinese women’s perception of love and relationships is pretty overly romanticized and unrealistic. I don’t want to sound the pessimist, but thinking that you’ve met the man of your dreams and ready to marry them three months into a relationship has recipe for disaster written all over it. I’m not kidding when I say that when a few friends and coworkers saw a newly purchased ring on my finger (not even my wedding finger) they thought I was engaged. Needless to say I quickly dispelled that rumor.
And for me and some of my foreign girlfriends, this a common subject for us to dissect and tear apart. I would like to think we’re not too terribly jaded, but it is hard for us to understand these quick engagements and what women expect from relationships. It’s almost as if they still have a 10-year-old’s fantasy of meeting prince charming, falling in love and living happily ever after. I try to think about why this notion of “puppy love” - even for mid to late 20-somethings - is prevalent for this culture. Maybe its the movies they watch? Maybe it’s the fact that they haven’t been in many long-term relationships to know the realities of dating? Maybe its the pressure they get from their parents, grandparents and other family members to get married? Either way it is debilitating.
I wrote an article recently for eChinacities about Chinese women and the pressure to get married. It’s not hardcore journalism, but it is a fairly accurate description of what the scene is like.
Hope you enjoyed the first installment of “Lamien Love.” If there is a topic you want to see written about, post a comment and I’ll fit it in!
Feb 26, 2010
Feb 24, 2010
Learning the Pains of Travel (part 2)
Friday February 12 - After what had been the most stress-induced day in my 6 months in China, the next day came with a bright and early trip to the airport. We had already planned out what we needed to do and in what order. We may not have been confident that we were going to get to Bangkok that day, but we knew what we needed to do to try to make it happen.
I’ll spare the needless details, but once we got to the airport, we spent the first hour bouncing back and forth between ticketing desks getting the proper documentation to prove we were not at fault for missing our flight. Again, I don’t know if it is the language barrier or the lack of motivation for some people to actually do their job, but getting these agents to help us get the documents we needed was enough to pull your hair out. It took me sternly saying to the woman trying to help 5 people at once that I was not going to leave the counter, where I was standing in a way so that no one else could really cut in, until she gave me the piece of paper I needed. That seemed to do the trick.
So off we went trying to get on standby for the next flight out to Bangkok with our airline. Of course all the flights were booked, but since we were the first ones there that morning we had priority. But I wasn’t going to sit around until 2:00 pm to find out if I would make it on the flight. So I set out in an attempt to figure out how we could get a refund from that airline and rebook with another. Calling my booking agent, I told my story to the 12th person that day. They replied “We’re really busy today. Someone will call you back.” And again, more waiting.
So about 30 minutes later, I get a phone call back. “Hello Ms. Smith. Unfortunately Thai Air will not refund your ticket if you cancel. They say it is not their problem you missed the flight.” I was irate and mostly because my friends, who were also taking Thai Air but used a different booking agency, were going to be able to get a refund if they needed to cancel. So, I got off the phone realizing that he was not going to tell me what I wanted to hear. I had hit a wall. I could no longer handle the lack of customer service of these people.
As we waited on standby for the 2:45 flight to Bangkok, Lisa made friends with one of the people checking passengers in. He already knew our story and how desperate we were to get to Bangkok. We gave him our sweetest most puppy-dog faces begging him to let us on the flight. And I will give credit where it is do. I am most certain that the only reason we were the first three standby passengers on the flight was because of Heather’s “Gold” status with the flight group of Thai Air, beating out the 6 or so others also anxiously pacing the ticket counters. We were on. Simple as that.
As we passed through immigration and made our way to the boarding gate, we were all amazed that all three of us were going to make it on the first flight out. Looking back I felt kind of silly about the tears shed, choice words and aggressive tones I had taken with those involved, but, in my defense, the outlook was bleak. However, for me, this was a pretty intense welcoming to just troublesome travel can be. And it didn’t help that this was the one trip I’d been looking forward to my whole life.
Despite the perils of actually getting there, Thailand was a great trip! And I have not been turned off to travel just yet. I took a lof of pictures (well for me a lot). Which you can check out here. Enjoy!
By the way... If you are a reader of NYAFC and enjoy it, please become a follower. As I’m trying to post more and more, it’d be great to hear from readers through comments and to know you all are reading the blog by following it. Thanks and hope you are enjoying NYAFC!
I’ll spare the needless details, but once we got to the airport, we spent the first hour bouncing back and forth between ticketing desks getting the proper documentation to prove we were not at fault for missing our flight. Again, I don’t know if it is the language barrier or the lack of motivation for some people to actually do their job, but getting these agents to help us get the documents we needed was enough to pull your hair out. It took me sternly saying to the woman trying to help 5 people at once that I was not going to leave the counter, where I was standing in a way so that no one else could really cut in, until she gave me the piece of paper I needed. That seemed to do the trick.
So off we went trying to get on standby for the next flight out to Bangkok with our airline. Of course all the flights were booked, but since we were the first ones there that morning we had priority. But I wasn’t going to sit around until 2:00 pm to find out if I would make it on the flight. So I set out in an attempt to figure out how we could get a refund from that airline and rebook with another. Calling my booking agent, I told my story to the 12th person that day. They replied “We’re really busy today. Someone will call you back.” And again, more waiting.
So about 30 minutes later, I get a phone call back. “Hello Ms. Smith. Unfortunately Thai Air will not refund your ticket if you cancel. They say it is not their problem you missed the flight.” I was irate and mostly because my friends, who were also taking Thai Air but used a different booking agency, were going to be able to get a refund if they needed to cancel. So, I got off the phone realizing that he was not going to tell me what I wanted to hear. I had hit a wall. I could no longer handle the lack of customer service of these people.
As we waited on standby for the 2:45 flight to Bangkok, Lisa made friends with one of the people checking passengers in. He already knew our story and how desperate we were to get to Bangkok. We gave him our sweetest most puppy-dog faces begging him to let us on the flight. And I will give credit where it is do. I am most certain that the only reason we were the first three standby passengers on the flight was because of Heather’s “Gold” status with the flight group of Thai Air, beating out the 6 or so others also anxiously pacing the ticket counters. We were on. Simple as that.
As we passed through immigration and made our way to the boarding gate, we were all amazed that all three of us were going to make it on the first flight out. Looking back I felt kind of silly about the tears shed, choice words and aggressive tones I had taken with those involved, but, in my defense, the outlook was bleak. However, for me, this was a pretty intense welcoming to just troublesome travel can be. And it didn’t help that this was the one trip I’d been looking forward to my whole life.
Despite the perils of actually getting there, Thailand was a great trip! And I have not been turned off to travel just yet. I took a lof of pictures (well for me a lot). Which you can check out here. Enjoy!
By the way... If you are a reader of NYAFC and enjoy it, please become a follower. As I’m trying to post more and more, it’d be great to hear from readers through comments and to know you all are reading the blog by following it. Thanks and hope you are enjoying NYAFC!
Feb 21, 2010
Learning the Pains of Travel (part 1)
It’s strange but I have always loved to travel. I like the idea of travel, and I even didn’t mind the airport. I would even go so far as to say I liked airports and airplanes (minus the smells). I found a thrill in being in the airport, seeing many different people - where were they going or where had they been, going on a plane, the take off and landing and arriving in a new place. When I was younger, I used to envy how much my dad got to travel. As he packed his bags I would think “You’re so lucky. You get to see all these new and different places.” But he didn’t share the same enthusiasm about traveling - airplanes, hotels, etc.- as I did. And I sure had a taste for the perils of travel in Thailand. I’m understand his qualms with travel a little more now.
Days ahead of my much anticipated trip to Thailand I checked the weather forecast of Nanjing and saw that on Thursday February 11, my departure date for the trip I had been waiting for since I was 8, it would snow. Every day that week, the forecast was bleaker and bleaker. I thought for sure that this was some meteorologist mistake and that it would not snow. Alas, I awoke on the 11th to at least 3 or 4 inches of white on the ground all around.
Now, I’m usually late for everything, but I knew that I needed to get to the airport in plenty of time to await the chaos that was probably unfolding at Nanjing’s mediocre airport - I was two hours early for my flight! So you can imagine my distress when the flight board read that my 4:00 flight to Guangzhou was canceled. Panicked, I went to the ticketing agent, who then eased my fears and put me on an “earlier” flight that had been delayed until 4:00 with all the snow delays... But the panicking and the waiting would not end just yet.
I learned early of the importance of allotting at least 3 hours between flights when dealing with international travel and rechecking in for connecting flights. So when my 4:00 flight didn’t take of until 6:30 you can imagine the stress pimples that were forming since my flight from Guangzhou was to leave for Bangkok at 8:30. Needless to say, I didn’t make it. Panicking (again), I ran to the counter frantically asking the woman what I should do. Her reply: “Go back to the China Southern desk and get a ticket back to Nanjing.” Oh no.
In hindsight, I regret the expletives that probably escaped my mouth as this woman was crushing my dream of going to Thailand and telling me to just “get a flight back to Nanjing.” Maybe it was the language barrier or maybe it was her lack of understanding of proper customer service but I knew she was not going to be useful in solving this problem.
In about five minutes, I had called down, drank some water, charged my phone that had run out of money (yet another source of my complete distress) and then was back into a collected “I’m going to solve this” mode. So I called the travel agency who booked the tickets. “All flights leaving Guangzhou to Bangkok for Thai Air are booked for tomorrow,” he said, “Saturday too.” After a few minutes with a surprisingly helpful agent, I gathered that my chances of getting to Thailand in the next few days were growing slim. It was Chinese New Year and everyone was heading to Thailand.
Alone in Guangzhou and unknowing of when I would get to Bangkok, I called my brother bawling into the phone. I was alone in a strange city where no one “in person” could or would help me solve the problem. As far as they were concerned it was my fault that I missed my connecting flight to Bangkok. After feeling a little more reassured (and being talked into not just going back to Nanjing as the woman had told me to do), I decided I would just see if my friends who I was meeting in Guangzhou to go to Bangkok had made the flight.
I called Lisa, an old friend from my Shanghai days who is still living here, and the phone rang! And after two or three rings she answered! And then I realized they missed the flight too (the weather in Shanghai was equally as bad)! I was not alone! I met up with Lisa and Heather at the airport’s McDonald’s, ate a much-needed hamburger and we plotted on how we were going to get to Thailand. We found a cheap hotel, called our travel agencies to ask more questions and then passed out from what had been an exhausting, stressful day. Only to await the next day - which would be another day of stress and waiting.
Days ahead of my much anticipated trip to Thailand I checked the weather forecast of Nanjing and saw that on Thursday February 11, my departure date for the trip I had been waiting for since I was 8, it would snow. Every day that week, the forecast was bleaker and bleaker. I thought for sure that this was some meteorologist mistake and that it would not snow. Alas, I awoke on the 11th to at least 3 or 4 inches of white on the ground all around.
Now, I’m usually late for everything, but I knew that I needed to get to the airport in plenty of time to await the chaos that was probably unfolding at Nanjing’s mediocre airport - I was two hours early for my flight! So you can imagine my distress when the flight board read that my 4:00 flight to Guangzhou was canceled. Panicked, I went to the ticketing agent, who then eased my fears and put me on an “earlier” flight that had been delayed until 4:00 with all the snow delays... But the panicking and the waiting would not end just yet.
I learned early of the importance of allotting at least 3 hours between flights when dealing with international travel and rechecking in for connecting flights. So when my 4:00 flight didn’t take of until 6:30 you can imagine the stress pimples that were forming since my flight from Guangzhou was to leave for Bangkok at 8:30. Needless to say, I didn’t make it. Panicking (again), I ran to the counter frantically asking the woman what I should do. Her reply: “Go back to the China Southern desk and get a ticket back to Nanjing.” Oh no.
In hindsight, I regret the expletives that probably escaped my mouth as this woman was crushing my dream of going to Thailand and telling me to just “get a flight back to Nanjing.” Maybe it was the language barrier or maybe it was her lack of understanding of proper customer service but I knew she was not going to be useful in solving this problem.
In about five minutes, I had called down, drank some water, charged my phone that had run out of money (yet another source of my complete distress) and then was back into a collected “I’m going to solve this” mode. So I called the travel agency who booked the tickets. “All flights leaving Guangzhou to Bangkok for Thai Air are booked for tomorrow,” he said, “Saturday too.” After a few minutes with a surprisingly helpful agent, I gathered that my chances of getting to Thailand in the next few days were growing slim. It was Chinese New Year and everyone was heading to Thailand.
Alone in Guangzhou and unknowing of when I would get to Bangkok, I called my brother bawling into the phone. I was alone in a strange city where no one “in person” could or would help me solve the problem. As far as they were concerned it was my fault that I missed my connecting flight to Bangkok. After feeling a little more reassured (and being talked into not just going back to Nanjing as the woman had told me to do), I decided I would just see if my friends who I was meeting in Guangzhou to go to Bangkok had made the flight.
I called Lisa, an old friend from my Shanghai days who is still living here, and the phone rang! And after two or three rings she answered! And then I realized they missed the flight too (the weather in Shanghai was equally as bad)! I was not alone! I met up with Lisa and Heather at the airport’s McDonald’s, ate a much-needed hamburger and we plotted on how we were going to get to Thailand. We found a cheap hotel, called our travel agencies to ask more questions and then passed out from what had been an exhausting, stressful day. Only to await the next day - which would be another day of stress and waiting.
Feb 10, 2010
Chinese New Year!
Usually around early December, we all start asking each other “What are you going for Christmas?” or “Are you going home for Christmas?” Well in China, this holiday is Chinese New Year. The Christian holiday isn’t really celebrated (except for the good sales), but in it’s place is the Chinese New Year.
Chinese New Year changes every year according to the lunar calender that a few Asian countries follow. This year it happens to be on Valentine’s Day. In China, it’s a holiday where you spend time with family and friends, eat a lot of food and set off a lot of fireworks. It’s apparently a good time to go shopping too (don’t we love to spend money during the holidays).
It’s been kind of funny, because a lot of Chinese people (who don’t know that many foreigners like Ellen, my Ayi and a few coworkers) have asked me if I’m going home for the Chinese New Year. At first I was surprised. I do not celebrate the Chinese New Year, why would I go home? I only have a week away from work, why would I go home? A plane ticket home is more than my monthly salary, why would I go home? I didn’t actually say this, but my facial expressions reacting to this question said it all. But I do find it humorous that they think I celebrate their holidays the same way they do. You can call it cultural insensitivity if you want.
This year is the year of the Tiger which happens to be my Chinese zodiac animal. Well it depends. My birthday falls very close on the new lunar year so some might say I am a tiger and others may say I’m a rabbit. So let’s go with tigit? Or rabber? It’s actually pretty accurate in my opinion. My brother is a rat; a perfect match for him. Just kidding. And to celebrate the year your year of the Chinese zodiac you are supposed to wear red underwear. So to all my tigers out there you better be wearing some red undies on February 14th, the Chinese New Year - this is convenient considering it's also V-Day.
So instead of going home I’ll be fulfilling a dream of mine to go to Thailand. So there will be a lack of posting the next two weeks - not that I’ve been posting all that much, but it’s been getting better. So look for updates in about 10 days when I will be tanner, blonder and much more relaxed.
Chinese New Year changes every year according to the lunar calender that a few Asian countries follow. This year it happens to be on Valentine’s Day. In China, it’s a holiday where you spend time with family and friends, eat a lot of food and set off a lot of fireworks. It’s apparently a good time to go shopping too (don’t we love to spend money during the holidays).
It’s been kind of funny, because a lot of Chinese people (who don’t know that many foreigners like Ellen, my Ayi and a few coworkers) have asked me if I’m going home for the Chinese New Year. At first I was surprised. I do not celebrate the Chinese New Year, why would I go home? I only have a week away from work, why would I go home? A plane ticket home is more than my monthly salary, why would I go home? I didn’t actually say this, but my facial expressions reacting to this question said it all. But I do find it humorous that they think I celebrate their holidays the same way they do. You can call it cultural insensitivity if you want.
This year is the year of the Tiger which happens to be my Chinese zodiac animal. Well it depends. My birthday falls very close on the new lunar year so some might say I am a tiger and others may say I’m a rabbit. So let’s go with tigit? Or rabber? It’s actually pretty accurate in my opinion. My brother is a rat; a perfect match for him. Just kidding. And to celebrate the year your year of the Chinese zodiac you are supposed to wear red underwear. So to all my tigers out there you better be wearing some red undies on February 14th, the Chinese New Year - this is convenient considering it's also V-Day.
So instead of going home I’ll be fulfilling a dream of mine to go to Thailand. So there will be a lack of posting the next two weeks - not that I’ve been posting all that much, but it’s been getting better. So look for updates in about 10 days when I will be tanner, blonder and much more relaxed.
Feb 8, 2010
Decorating the home... Chinese style.
One of the things I loved back was going shopping for home decor. I guess because since I never got to paint my room hot pink (in hindsight, thanks Mom) I really enjoyed making my room in my college house my own. It might also be that I finally found my style and have been going through an artsy phase ever since I discovered the greatness that is Anthropologie. I loved my light blue walls, cherry desk, mirrored jewelry box, my “cloud-like” bed and, most of all, my triptec cherry blossom painting.
Home shopping in Nanjing does not bring the same pleasure... especially with my roommate. Don’t get me wrong, Eva and I are becoming good friends. But our styles are like night at day. While I love soft, earthy tones, things that match and classic style, she much prefers bright colors, little girl-style accessories and doesn’t even consider if what she is buying will “work” in a room. She hated when I covered our sofa in blue (my favorite color) and was relieved when underneath was revealed a bright orange (gag).
I waver how much I want to actually “invest” in this apartment. I’m ok with minimal decor, but I do want to make it a little more “homey.” I can tell she does too. So this weekend she finally made me decide on some additions to our apartment. She was so excited to show me these things to “decorate the wall.” I kid you not, they are stickers. She had her computer screened opened up to about 10 different “wall stickers.” And while they are anywhere from 10 to 70 RMB, I'd much prefer splurging on a painting (say 200 RMB) than sticking up those tacky things. She had already decided which ones she liked and on which wall they would go. The girl wanted a sticker covering every single wall and I could tell she was disappointed when I said “Maybe let’s decide on one or two for the living room.” Hell will freeze over before I scatter stickers all over my apartment.
What got to me the most was how NONE of these stickers matched... It seems I am my mother’s daughter. One was a sticker of Audrey Hepburn, the other of a anthro-style tree with birds, the other patch of flowers with butterflies (butterflies are the bane of my existence) and the last was a bunch of circles to create your own pattern. Not only are these about 4 different themes but the colors where all wrong. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time I really don’t want to litter the walls with cheap... crap?
What I found even more comical was when we had narrowed it down to two, Hepburn and the tree, we couldn’t decide which color to choose for the tree. There was about 15 colors to choose from and we were both not really sure what the other one wanted (or sure that we would agree). So I picked up a throw pillow that was on the sofa. As I looked to the pillow to give us the answer to the color problem she had the most confused look on her face. I said “Why don’t we match the color with one of the colors in this pillow.” Then, the reaction that said it all: “Match? What is match?”
We didn't make any final decisions on the stickers. I'm going to try to gently tell her I don't want them on the walls and that I'll buy a painting or something. But this is why if I ever move into my own apartment again, I will decorate it the way I want before I get a roommate (or just decorate it on my own). Eva is sweet and a great roommate, but I don’t want to live in a color wheel of an apartment. And I will forever choose my “traditional-contemporary” style in home decor before succumbing to the “Chinese style” these people seem to love. I can get into hanging out with my coworkers going to KTV and will let Ellen come over and tell me I’m going to “wed” this year and have a baby. But I will not live in a Neon Wonderland. Sorry, Eva.
Home shopping in Nanjing does not bring the same pleasure... especially with my roommate. Don’t get me wrong, Eva and I are becoming good friends. But our styles are like night at day. While I love soft, earthy tones, things that match and classic style, she much prefers bright colors, little girl-style accessories and doesn’t even consider if what she is buying will “work” in a room. She hated when I covered our sofa in blue (my favorite color) and was relieved when underneath was revealed a bright orange (gag).
I waver how much I want to actually “invest” in this apartment. I’m ok with minimal decor, but I do want to make it a little more “homey.” I can tell she does too. So this weekend she finally made me decide on some additions to our apartment. She was so excited to show me these things to “decorate the wall.” I kid you not, they are stickers. She had her computer screened opened up to about 10 different “wall stickers.” And while they are anywhere from 10 to 70 RMB, I'd much prefer splurging on a painting (say 200 RMB) than sticking up those tacky things. She had already decided which ones she liked and on which wall they would go. The girl wanted a sticker covering every single wall and I could tell she was disappointed when I said “Maybe let’s decide on one or two for the living room.” Hell will freeze over before I scatter stickers all over my apartment.
What got to me the most was how NONE of these stickers matched... It seems I am my mother’s daughter. One was a sticker of Audrey Hepburn, the other of a anthro-style tree with birds, the other patch of flowers with butterflies (butterflies are the bane of my existence) and the last was a bunch of circles to create your own pattern. Not only are these about 4 different themes but the colors where all wrong. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time I really don’t want to litter the walls with cheap... crap?
What I found even more comical was when we had narrowed it down to two, Hepburn and the tree, we couldn’t decide which color to choose for the tree. There was about 15 colors to choose from and we were both not really sure what the other one wanted (or sure that we would agree). So I picked up a throw pillow that was on the sofa. As I looked to the pillow to give us the answer to the color problem she had the most confused look on her face. I said “Why don’t we match the color with one of the colors in this pillow.” Then, the reaction that said it all: “Match? What is match?”
We didn't make any final decisions on the stickers. I'm going to try to gently tell her I don't want them on the walls and that I'll buy a painting or something. But this is why if I ever move into my own apartment again, I will decorate it the way I want before I get a roommate (or just decorate it on my own). Eva is sweet and a great roommate, but I don’t want to live in a color wheel of an apartment. And I will forever choose my “traditional-contemporary” style in home decor before succumbing to the “Chinese style” these people seem to love. I can get into hanging out with my coworkers going to KTV and will let Ellen come over and tell me I’m going to “wed” this year and have a baby. But I will not live in a Neon Wonderland. Sorry, Eva.
Feb 1, 2010
23rd Birthday
生日快乐！That’s Chinese for happy birthday! And my recent birthday was really nice. I was so happy to receive the ecards, emails and facebook postings. So I thought I would share my birthday over here with all my NYAFC readers... Even if it is almost a week later.
I would like to think that this has been more like birth week. I’ve had all kinds of special treats and a few good dinners. Celebrating my birthday in China has been a bit different than at home, but also very similar. My “中国家人,” or Chinese family, took me to dinner on my birthday. Ellen, the one who made me eat cicadas, was really cute. She was excited to celebrate my birthday and that Friday before my birthday to made sure my plans were secured with her and her family. I enjoy Ellen’s company, but she is so young and naive. And she’s set that this year I will “wed” and soon after give birth to a baby girl who will marry my roommate Eva’s son. Keep in mind that neither of us are married, Eva doesn’t even have a boyfriend and that she and I both have both vehemently expressed to Ellen that not every girl wants to be married and with a baby by 25.
And I have digressed. Anyway, the evening was really nice and involved lots of eating, talking and gift giving. Ellen’s family invited along some family friends, I guess to let them hang out with the foreigner as well. I didn’t mind. I got some nice (and I am quite possibly second-hand gifts). With cake, food and new friends I was happy. And then Ellen surprised me with a gift that she didn’t want to know her parents to know she had gotten me. She presented the gifts telling me that she wanted me to be a “flower fairy of all seasons.” Then she gave me two sets of earrings (representing summer and fall), a necklace (representing winter) and a ring representing spring... All of course with a floral theme. She was so proud of the gifts and I could tell she had spent a lot, especially for a Chinese high school student. I was touched by her generosity and creativeness... How many of you can say you’ve put that much thought into a gift? I don’t think I have.
My 23rd birthday was relatively uneventful (compared to say, my 21st birthday), but it was perfect for me. I didn’t eat noodles on my birthday, which are customary to eat and represent a long life, so I hope I make it through till 24. And while I was sad to be away from those I love, I was happy to spend a quiet night with another “family.”
I would like to think that this has been more like birth week. I’ve had all kinds of special treats and a few good dinners. Celebrating my birthday in China has been a bit different than at home, but also very similar. My “中国家人,” or Chinese family, took me to dinner on my birthday. Ellen, the one who made me eat cicadas, was really cute. She was excited to celebrate my birthday and that Friday before my birthday to made sure my plans were secured with her and her family. I enjoy Ellen’s company, but she is so young and naive. And she’s set that this year I will “wed” and soon after give birth to a baby girl who will marry my roommate Eva’s son. Keep in mind that neither of us are married, Eva doesn’t even have a boyfriend and that she and I both have both vehemently expressed to Ellen that not every girl wants to be married and with a baby by 25.
And I have digressed. Anyway, the evening was really nice and involved lots of eating, talking and gift giving. Ellen’s family invited along some family friends, I guess to let them hang out with the foreigner as well. I didn’t mind. I got some nice (and I am quite possibly second-hand gifts). With cake, food and new friends I was happy. And then Ellen surprised me with a gift that she didn’t want to know her parents to know she had gotten me. She presented the gifts telling me that she wanted me to be a “flower fairy of all seasons.” Then she gave me two sets of earrings (representing summer and fall), a necklace (representing winter) and a ring representing spring... All of course with a floral theme. She was so proud of the gifts and I could tell she had spent a lot, especially for a Chinese high school student. I was touched by her generosity and creativeness... How many of you can say you’ve put that much thought into a gift? I don’t think I have.
My 23rd birthday was relatively uneventful (compared to say, my 21st birthday), but it was perfect for me. I didn’t eat noodles on my birthday, which are customary to eat and represent a long life, so I hope I make it through till 24. And while I was sad to be away from those I love, I was happy to spend a quiet night with another “family.”
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